Calming the Savage Soul

I'm super sorry I haven't updated in over a month but there were,... lets say,... some complications in my life that prevented me from spending loads of time on the computer. Complications aren't always bad, they're just complicated situations. I know this may sound like a bunch of crazy babble and it is. You see I'm super tired right now and when I get tired I start to say really stupid things and being an insomniac doesn't help,... I'm always tired, therefor, I always say stupid things. I'm happy to announce that I have a follower. Isn't that exciting!?! An actual living breathing human that follows my blog! *squee* I feel the need to make a few points,... 1.) this is in no way professional. I know nothing about music except how to play a few notes on a guitar. 2.) This is just my opinion on music that I like and rants about things I don't like, kind of like a way to blow off steam. 3.) I AM a babbling idiot so much of this may not make sense to you, trust me, at one point it made sense. 4.) I'm actually using this as a way to gain more music and to hopefully help someone else find music that they like. 5.) I am new to this whole blogging thing so please be kind. On to the actual entry.

A lot has happened in my life with in the last few months and music is what really gets me through the day sometimes. Everybody has a list of songs that gets them up and going or helps them sleep at night or helps them cry when they're so frustrated and they need to let it all out. I'm one of those people who has a playlist for every event in my life. For example,... this past week has been filled with highs and lows, mainly lows and my um,... love life is to blame for some of those lows. It's not bad or anything and I don't regret any decisions made I'm just mad at myself for not saying what I should have said to someone and for letting myself get involved even though I knew I was going to be hurt. So, feeling completely restless and for some reason not able to cry I hid in my bed under the covers with my ipod and turned it up as high as it would go to tune out everything. I had kind of a sappy playlist but it said all of the things that I couldn't say and what I wish more than anything I could say. This music is the best of the depressed, stuff like Vertical Horizon- Everything you want "he's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be, he say's all the right things at exactly the right time and he means nothing to you and you don't know why,... I'm everything you want I'm everything you need I'm everything inside of you that you wish you could be, I say all the right things at exactly the right time but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why..." This one just fits my mood perfectly,... rejection. After Midnight Project- Take Me Home "take me home (slow down my heart) I wanna go (I'm breaking apart) I'm sorry I can't love you I'm sorry I can't make you see who I am. And I can't go on I can't live like this and we can't get back the time we've wasted no I can't go on I can't live like this..." This song has a hint of remorse and longing that interests me. Pearl Jam- Just Breath "under everything, just another human being, uh-huh I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world to make me believe, stay with me, you're all I see,... did I say that I need you? did I say that I want you? oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see, no one knows this more than me." This is everything I wish I had said. That was the point where the tears finally started to flow. I should have told him I needed him and I wanted him. I was afraid to though, this was the first guy that I had pursued since I broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half years. And I know I bearing my stupid heart on this blog entry,... hopefully he doesn't find it. This is going to have to end as a To Be Continued Until Tomorrow, there's more to the playlist but I have work tomorrow morning and it's 12:59 am despite what the actual time on the blog says,... I can't figure it out. Goodnight! -Katie